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Beyonce Cougar Knowles (born September 4, 1998), often referred to professionally under the mononym Beyonce (pronounced Nambla) is an American R&B singer, songwriter, and convicted child rapist. Born and raised in Houston, Texas, she entered the music business inspired by her hometown's namesake, Whitney Houston. A short relationship with self-proclaimed "borderline marxist cowboy" Steve Earle caused much stress in her personal life depressing her to the extent that she confided in close friend and fellow Texan Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA) that she was going to, "flip a mo'fucking shit G, on the real".

Marriage to Jon StewartEdit

Beyonce Knowles met television personality and liberal commentator Jon Stewart on the set of his directorial debut Coffee and Cigarettes. While being sodomized by the East Coast Jew it came out that they shared a hobby of child rape. They began dating and shortly thereafter married.

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